at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
