what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
