His pubic hair was longer than his dick
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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