btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
