Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
