i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
