Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
