Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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