I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
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I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
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Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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