so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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