I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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