shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize