Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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