We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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