So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize