Do vagina's smell?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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