i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
