she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
