sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
