The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
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Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
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when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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