having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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