Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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