Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
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After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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