A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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