i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
