why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ketchup is God's man juice
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You've changed since you got that strap on
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
