It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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