Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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