discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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