I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
