Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
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there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
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Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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