I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
