I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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