I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
