Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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