Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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