question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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