I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
