just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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