Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
