This is not my ceiling
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
you never un-have a 4some
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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