is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
