"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
