i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize