What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
