he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I didn't notice because vodka
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize