So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
