He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
