The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
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The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
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Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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