so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
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I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
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Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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