i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
