I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
