Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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