I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
